Critiquing A Work Based on Theme

Name
Tutor
Course
Date
Wk. 5 – Critique
The theme of my original assignment was drunk driving. This theme is touched on appropriately in the introduction. I introduce the reader by giving a first-hand account of my experience in a car driven by a drunk driver. It provides the reader with a good understanding of what my memoir is about. However, the theme is not appropriately touched in my conclusion. In this part, I only talk about my re-awakening from sleep and my decision not to use the car service ever again. This is despite the driver’s apology. I could have touched more on the theme here. For instance, I could have included a discussion with the driver on drunk driving. I could have talked about how dangerous it was for someone to be driving while intoxicated. Even though I did not make this apparent to the driver in real life, I could have talked about it to ensure I give the reader my view on drunk driving. I should have noted that it is unacceptable behavior in anyone.
Strengths in my original assignment are in my memoir. I manage to tell my story in a short but elaborate way. The reader gets to feel what I went through on that day. Still, it would have been better felt if the memoir was longer. This would allow me to detail the trauma and how I was pleased to wake up from a dream. Another area of improvement would be in the reflection. In the last paragraph, I talk about how difficult it is to relive one’s memories. ...