Parents Goals & Expectations to Respect Right & Need of their Children

Looking through the lens of ethics, how can parents’ goals and expectations be made to respect the rights and needs of their children?
Parents often want the best for their children. However, at times, the best for their children could cross the ethical lines in place. In her 2011 article titled “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior”, Amy Chua talks of how Chinese mothers/parents appear to encourage and demand perfection from their children. She talks of how Chinese parents’ wishes always override the wishes of their children who eventually end up successful. Lisa Belkin’s article, “The Made-to-Order Savior”, on the other hand, tells the story of two families who are ready to walk a long and tough road to help save their sick children. The families as Belkin notes, have been trying to conceive a genetically compatible sibling who will, in turn, be a savior to their other sick children. Even though the stories appear different, they are indeed similar and help to further a discussion that many parents find difficult to be a part of. The question here is when should parents be told to stop? When should their actions, goals, and expectations of their children be questioned and called out as being ethically wrong? This article seeks to answer this question by analyzing the examples in which parents break ethical barriers as they seek to give their children ‘the best’ in the two articles mentioned above. The main issue here is that parents should respect the needs and rights of their children and draw a line between their wishes for their children and their children’s rights.
Firstly, parents are expected to do what it takes to ensure their children have or get what they need. However, this does not mean that they should get to the point where they are disregarding the rights and needs of their children. In her article, Chua notes that “Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable – even legally actionable – to Westerners.” She goes on ahead to say that Chinese mothers can say to their daughters, “Hey fatty – lose some weight” (2). These she says are only said to help the children feel ashamed and thus push themselves to be better. However, is it ethically right to do something wrong in the hope of getting the right results? Calling your children fat can as well have negative results meaning that it can interfere with the mindset of the child and even reduce their self-esteem. Well, this is something that Belkin handles in her article where parents decide to get another child as a donor for their other sick child. She notes that “when the rest of the world learned about the baby born to be a donor, there were questions.” She continues to say that there were questions even from ethicists who asked whether it is ethical “to breed a child for “spare parts”” (2). The above simply means that it is not right to breed a child only for what they are good at or for what they have. The above statement also appears to mimic what Chua is saying because seeing a child as spare parts is synonymous to forcing them to be that which they do not wish to be. Once born, every child is protected by the bill of ...