Peer Review: Negative Effects of Being in Prison

Essay Peer Review
Your Name:________________________________ Writer’s Name:_________________________________________
1 How does the title of the essay affect you as a reader?
The article that I have read does not have any title assigned to it, but the first sentence already gave me a general idea of what will be the article content.
2 Locate the thesis paragraph(s). How can the thesis paragraph (usually NOT the first paragraph) be stronger and clearer? Is the writer convincing there? What would you suggest be added to make it clearer and more emphatic?
The thesis paragraph is located at the third paragraph of the article, when the positive thought about prison’s suddenly took a sharp turn. Although the thesis paragraph shows the negative effects of being in prison for a long period of isolation from the society, it could have been more concrete if the author also included some citation from credible source within the thesis paragraph. Yes, the writer statement is truly convincing given the reason that all humans feel empathy for those who are in prison. If we are aiming to make this paragraph more emphatic the writer should include words like “no one deserve…” and “even you…” but these are just suggestion that I think will make the paragraph emphatic.
3 Can you locate a paragraph of opposing argument? Does the opposing argument offer examples? How can the writer more successfully use an alternative viewpoint to clarify his or her Slant or thesis?
The opposing statement is lo...