Transformation of the American Dream by Robert J. Shiller

Revise the essay according to the graading stantards pls.
Final Exam - Diagnostic Revision
Final Exam - Diagnostic Revision
Standard rating score
This standard connects with the Introduction to Learning Outcomes1
The thematic sentence presents the author, title and main idea of ​​the article that will be criticized in this essay. The main idea of ​​the article is presented in a clear, precise and grammatical way.
Score from 4.0 to> 0.0
Complete marks
0.0 Score
No marks
4.0 points
This standard connects to Learning Outcomes Introduction 2
The article is summarized in a concise, precise and concise manner using the student's own words. Someone who has not read the original article might understand what the author believes, why he believes it, and how he thinks these beliefs. must be applied
4.0 Rating
Complete marks
0.0 Score
No marks
4.0 points
This standard connects with the Introduction to Learning Outcomes 3
The sentences in the summary-introduction are carefully sequenced and logically linked so that they work together to bring the reader to the thesis. The student successfully avoids listing items in the article.
4.0 Rating
Complete marks
0.0 Score
No marks
4.0 points
This standard connects to the learning outcome Thesis
The thesis statement clearly and grammatically expresses the author's points of analysis that will be developed in the essay (topic) and the writer's opinion on these points (idea).
4.0 Rating
Complete marks
0.0 Score
No marks
4.0 points
This standard connects with learning outcomes First Response Paragraph 1
A clear thematic sentence identifies the particular feature of the author's argument to be criticized in this paragraph (topic). The thematic sentence shows the student writer's opinion (approval, disapproval, etc.) of this aspect of the author's argument and why (idea)
4.0 Rating
Complete marks
0.0 Score
No marks
4.0 points
This standard connects with learning outcomes. First response Paragraph 2
The paragraph presents compelling evidence that directly supports the judgment expressed in the topic sentence. The evidence is preceded by an explanation of the student's writer's point (the evidence does not appear directly after the topic sentence. The evidence is meaningful for the topic in question, it is sufficient, and is chosen from appropriate sources.
4.0 Rating
Complete marks
0.0 Score
No marks
4.0 points
This standard connects with learning outcomes First Response Paragraph 3
Paragraph is organized in a logical, easy-to-follow manner, with each sentence leading clearly to the next and all of the sentences working together to make one clear point.
4.0 Rating
Complete marks
0.0 Score
No marks
4.0 points
This standard connects to the Learning Outcome Secondary Response Paragraph 4
The paragraph advances the essay into new territory, avoiding overlap with the previous response paragraph. The answer paragraphs do different jobs, but they work together to provide a full critique of the author's argument.
4.0 Rating
Complete marks
0.0 Score
No marks
4.0 points
This standard connects to learning outcomes.
The concluding paragraph reinforces the essay's central ideas by leaving the reader with one final thought that connects to the world outside of the essay.
4.0 Rating
Complete marks
0.0 Score
No marks
4.0 points
This standard connects to the Grammer & Style 1 learning outcome
The document shows good control of language (sentence structure, verb tenses, verb forms, verb forms, singular vs. plural, vocabulary) and mechanics (spelling, punctuation, capitalization, comma / complement splices).
4.0 Rating
Complete marks
0.0 Score
No marks
4.0 points
This standard connects to Grammar & Style 2 learning outcomes
The writer avoids choppy writing by using a variety of sentence types, making effective use of complex sentences, and avoiding over-reliance on simple sentences.
4.0 Rating
Complete marks
0.0 Score
No marks
4.0 points
This standard connects to Grammar & Style 3 learning outcomes
The writing is concise and direct, free from verbiage, repetition and other distractions. The meaning of the writer is clear at all times.
4.0 Rating
Complete marks
0.0 Score
No marks
4.0 points
Total score: Score: 60.0;
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March 20 1:03 PM (expired)
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Download WLD final exam part2.docx
Comments:
Hi Wenjie, You uploaded your synthesis paper into your final exam instead of the revision of your diagnostic exam. Please upload the proper paper as soon as possible. Dr. Lore
Elisabeth Lore ， March 20 10:27
Hi, Dr.Lore, Thanks for reminding me. I'm catching a flight back to China right now and I will upload the right paper as soon as possible.

The American dream is a phrase that represents the ultimate goal which Americans are chasing for. It is a core concept that every American comprehends and values. It is just like other nations’ core value, it not only shows a nation’s historical profundity but also equals to how people do things based on the social order and the future development trajectory of a nation.

In the article, Shiller illustrates how American dream transferred over the years. From the very beginning, American dream refers to freedom and equality. The dream consists of a well-organized society that people are respecting each other, and the bias of each one’s congenital difference is eliminated. Each person has the same chance to achieve their life goals without being bound by some latent rules or bias. However, as Shiller said it the article, American dream refers to things more materialistic like owning a house and high wages in recent years. These words sound attractive to most people because everyone desires to improve their life qualities.

Nevertheless, there are consequences for everyone to put these kinds of things in the first place in their lives. Think about it, if this situation becomes even more violent, if everyone demands high income and better material life without holding the original spirit of American dream, there will be no respect and healthy relationship between people. Everything relates to benefit and profit. People will do anything to reach their “New American dream”. Eventually, there will be no freedom at all, and people are trapped in their little loop of making money and buying bigger houses.

As a foreigner, I believed that American dream should be diverse, just like the diversity consist of America. However, it shouldn’t break away from its original ideal, which is freedom and equality. The diversity of American dreams should base on these two concepts. The development of a country involves multiple aspects, not only economics. It is not wise to change American dream, which is the core concept of a nation to merely having great financial success like President Trump claimed. People are born different, have different experiences, so it’s a natural thing to have different dreams. The dreams are what people live for. Because of people having dreams, it makes the impossible possible. The American dream should be the dream for entire American generations, and each individual should have their own dreams. Imagine all Americans care about business and making money. No one is willing to explore literacy, anthropology, music, and other aspects that do not make that much amount of money. No one would like to sacrifice their time for human progress. How will human civilization continue to progress?

American dream should be a standard of behavior for people, not some particular achievement like buying houses. It is important for people to have their own comfortable place to live indeed, but it is not significant enough for all Americans to value. Plus that, owning big houses or a roaring business does not equal happiness. The only way to gain happiness is to chase your own dreams and realized your life values.

WLD 57 Culminating Activity (Final Exam, Winter 2020) 

Grading Rubric