Identifying the Writer's Claims, Evidence, and Intentions

Title
Your Name
Subject and Section
Professor’s name
Date
Questions
1 Before discussing the argument focus or topic, read any draft your peer has brought and answer the following questions:
1 What claims does the writer make?
According to the writer, it is clear that long-standing cultural convictions, such as gender disparities in Southeast Asia or the stifling of marginalized voices like the Rohingya Muslims, have a substantial impact on mental health.
2 Are these claims clear? Why or why not?
The claims are not distinct. Firstly, the writer did not utilize proper citations. Hence, the basis of the claims is not well-defined. Secondly, the writer claims that gender inequality and the suppression of the voices of the marginalized in a particular society affect the mental health of the affected individuals. Although specific examples were given, it was unclear whether these point to mental health.
3 What evidence is used to back up these claims?
The references include two peer-reviewed articles and one from a business news channel.
4 Is the evidence credible and persuasive? Why or why not?
Only one out of the three references is credible. This pertains to the “Bride price and gender role in rural China.” The article is peer-reviewed and updated. Hence, it is a reliable and persuasive source. However, the two other references are not for the following reasons: One must be updated despite being peer-reviewed. It was published in 2006, and it is imperative to use sources published within the last three to five years. Next, the other reference was obtained from an American business channel, which could be more reliable.
5 What conclusion are you left with at the end of the reading?
I conclude that gender inequality and suppression of marginalized societies negatively impact the mental well-being of the affected individuals.
2 Then, discuss the writer’s intentions with the piece and offer suggestions for change.
6 What is working well in this draft?
From a personal perspective, making an extensive outline before writing a draft is essential. The paper needs to be more organized. It lacks topic sentences per paragraph, and each paragraph lacks elaboration of the main topic. Moreover, using in-text citations and credible sources to support the writer's claims is crucial. Lastly, it is imperative to use formal and appropriate college-level English in writing a formal paper.
7 How could the writer strengthen the draft?
The writer could strengthen the draft by using more peer-reviewed and recently published articles.
8 What needs to be added? Could anything be taken away?
The writer should add background information about gender inequality and the oppression of marginalized communities in Southeast Asian countries before making arguments to give the readers the context of the paper. Consequently, the writer should refrain from mentioning characters' names not included in the citation.
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