Social Injustices Associated with Gender Inequality and Discrimination

I have wrote a rough draft you can add more to it or add another page.
This is the feed back i had received for my essay
Dear Asad, It was awesome to be able to read your essay! I hope I can provide adequate feedback to enhance your writing, so with that, I'll start off with your introduction. In your introduction you use a reference from a source with the citation “Sustana”, but because this essay is a literary analysis, the purpose is for the reader see the conclusions you were able to come to off of your analysis; that being said, I think you can omit that sentence from your essay. In addition, you should try limiting the amount of plot summary, but if you do choose to provide a sentence of background context, be sure to include the right names of characters (Jane is the narrator’s sister-in-law; the narrator is our unnamed protagonist). I think it would also be a good idea to introduce both stories in the introduction, as your incorporation of “A Jury Of Her Peers” is thrown into the paper at the end and not given much pretext. I think that your introduction provides the reader with more summary of the text than introducing how the topic of your essay is presented within the text. For this essay, the prompt was about how confinement is portrayed in the two short stories so it is important that your opening sentence immediately introduces this idea along with the titles and authors of the texts, intended audience, and purpose. After providing a brief background of the text and introducing the topic (in this case confinement) you can state your claim or thesis statement. This statement is meant to be the “How” of your paper. The thesis is where you will state how the authors portray the topic of confinement in the essay using literary devices (a comprehensive list of literary devices is included in slides from lecture). You want to try to close out your introduction with this thesis statement, which you will be designed your entire essay around. A formula that Professor Hanna provided is as follows: “In (title of work), (author of work) uses (literary device) to (purpose).” The body of your paper is where you should be trying to support your thesis using analysis and textual evidence. You are trying to convince the reader to agree with your argument and give them proof as to why you are right. This provides the general structure of your paper in that each body paragraph should be used to support your thesis in a different way, whether it be different examples from the text or having each paragraph be dedicated to analysis of one of the short stories. Within these body paragraphs you want to escort the reader through your paper using introductory sentences at the beginning of each paragraph, as well as transitional sentences at the end of each paragraph. This will help centralize your individual ideas and allow your essay to present a single comprehensive argument to the reader. The body of your paper is where you should be providing textual evidence and support in the form of quotes and or analysis (do not include in introduction or conclusion). And with this, each detail from the text should directly support your thesis; it should demonstrate how your chosen literary device is employed to portray the idea of confinement. Right now in your essay you have included the both point of view and irony; however, I think it would be beneficial for you to zone in on one of these devices and try to unpack its use in both stories. Try to also omit any filler sentences throughout your paper, for example you mention the idea of gender roles in “A Jury Of Her Peers”, but this is brought up at the end of your paper with little room left for analysis/support, and this is an idea that you did not bring up when discussing “The Yellow Wallpaper. Being more conscious of the central themes you are trying to tackle will help limit the peripheral ideas that you bring up in the process. I’m not really seeing your conclusion in your essay right now. I think that you can enhance this by following the format of 1) restating your thesis 2) summarizing your points made throughout the essay that support your argument and 3) state why the reader should care/what this contributes to one’s understanding of the piece. This part of your paper should be brief and make up approximately 5% of your essay; however it should still have some substance and help the reader wrap up the ideas presented in your paper. And just an overall reminder to be conscious of grammatical errors, spelling, and citations when referencing the text (include page number of quote at the end of the sentence or after quotation marks). Overall, I think your paper has good potential and thanks for sharing! Sincerely, Vanessa Reyes
The requirment for the essay i have attached a file of and also the essay i need in simple english