Exploring Values and Goals

Activity #1 Exploring Values and Goals:
When you understand what people value, you have the key to what motivates them. A person’s long term goals are a potential source of motivation for change. But, humans day to day behavior often falls short or contradicts long-term values. People have a strong drive to be (or at least appear to be) consistent and will change behaviors to reduce apparent dissonance/discrepancy. With this in mind, let’s explore your own values. Take a minute to reflect on these questions, jotting down notes or thinking through it in your mind.
Tell me what you care about most in your life. What matters most to you?
How do you hope your life will be different in a few years from now?
What are the rules of life you live by?
What would you say are your five most important values? Pick one word for each?

Please answer as many of the following questions as you are comfortable with sharing in the discussion board below.
How are these values expressed in your life?
In what ways are these values important to you?
Give me some examples of how you demonstrate these values in your life?
Why are these values important to you? How did this come to be a value for you?
If there is one or two behaviors you would like to change to be more consistent with your values, what would those behaviors be? What would need to change?

Activity #2 Values and Change in Others
Now you understand the relationship between values and behavior change in yourself. Now, let’s use this knowledge to help someone else in your life. Think about a specific person you think would benefit from a positive behavior change.
Who is this person? What is their name? What is your relationship?
What behavior do you think they need to change? What is the positive replacement behavior (it is often easier to add a positive behavior rather remove a negative behavior)?
Now, using the OARS approach (using open-ended questions, affirming statements, reflection, and summarizing), what questions can you ask to help this person make a positive behavior change? Take a few minutes to write this down.
Look for Thomas Gordon’s 12 Roadblocks as you listen to your classmates:
Ordering, directing, or commanding
Warning, cautioning, or threatening
Giving advice, making suggestions, or providing solutions
Persuading with logic, arguing, or lecturing
Telling people what they should do; moralizing
Disagreeing, judging, criticizing, or blaming
Agreeing, approving, or praising
Shaming, ridiculing, or labeling
Interpreting or analyzing
Reassuring, sympathizing, or consoling
Questioning or probing
Withdrawing, distracting, humoring, or changing the subject

Please answer as many of the Activity #2 questions above and below as you are comfortable with sharing in the discussion board.
How was this for you? What worked? What was challenging? How can you take what you learned today and apply it to your personal/professional life?
please write this in the voice of a 26 year old male architectural designer with 4 younger sibling and both parents who are the most important people in my life