Communication in Romantic Relationships. Communications & Media Essay

Communication in Romantic Relationships
Name:
Course
Instructor
Date:
For this paper, I will focus on Spitzberg's communication competence and the relevance of communication competence in relationships. Communication competence is the ability to behave effectively and appropriately in a given situation or context. Knowing when to speak and when not, and what to speak, with whom, when, and where to speak are necessary to improve relations. Additionally, communicating what is socially appropriate is part of communication competence. Being attentive and aware of one's communication style, and the process of interaction with others helps to strengthen the relationship. Developing skills that facilitate interpreting messages and situations where one can determine what is appropriate for specific situations and how to get a better understanding of the communication process. I will explain communication competencies that are appropriate and effective using the example of my cousin Ashley and her ex-boyfriend Mark
Ashley and Mark had known each other since high school but did not begin officially dating until they were both 19 years old. On the surface, they appeared to be a happy couple and I was in regular contact with both of them as I knew them. Occasionally, Ashley came with Mark to my parent's home, and one thing I noticed is that Mark was not always a good listener as he sometimes sought to get his away. Putting oneself in the place of the others requires listening carefully to what others ay to us and should also be appropriate reactions. As a relationship is mutual, the failure by both Ashley and Mark to get what they wanted, partly because of poor communication, likely caused problems later.
My belief is that communication is the foundation of all social life and if those in a relationship lack effective communication then this weakens the relationship. Even as I did notice issues in Ashley and Mark's relationship that made me question their relationship, it was not my position to stay how they interacted. When we interacted with the two, it was likely that in the "courtship fantasy" phase. Dating is a time of intense romance where there is intense verbal and non-verbal communication. This was the case for the two lovers who stated that they love each other, but Ashley seemed to be the more enthusiastic of the two. She did share her dreams and hopes, but it did not seem that Mark had also set the same goals.
Communication competence requires that one knows why not to stay something, but also being in a position to share worries, sadness, and frustrations in the right context. At the early phase of the relationship, Ashley did see some early worrying signs and overlooked them. However, love is associated with happiness, and some lovers tend to overlook the other person's flaws in the early stages of the relationship. Ashley confided in me that when she asked Mark what he wanted to change and was most satisfied with the relationship, he mostly spoke in general terms. To me, this was a concern as it could create false expectations and communication crises as there is no clear understanding of what to expect. It may take time, for one or both lovers to realize that reality is different when there is no clear communicat...