Bioethics in the Case of Etenesh: an Intersex Human Being

Bioethics
What do you find to be the strength of this essay?
The strength of this essay lies in the fact that the life of an intersex person has been discussed. Etenesh is given tough times by her own parents and then by her in-laws and husband. It is very unfortunate that people who are born with genetic variations or sex variations are rejected by society. The same is the situation of Etenesh, and her parents force her to marry a boy of their choice. When the family of the groom gets to know the truth, they refuse to make Etenesh their daughter-in-law and decide to file a complaint against her parents who, according to them, cheat on them and hide the truth that Etenesh is an intersex human being.
What are two areas of the essay that can be improved? How?
The first area of this essay that could be improved is that some concepts have been repeated. For example, Etenesh was forced to have arranged marriage by her parents. This has been told many times throughout the essay, and it does not look good to repeat it as we already know that her father and mother force Etenesh to do arrange marriage. Secondly, I do not think it was mandatory to say that Etenesh’s in-laws or husband would not be called to the hospital to ask some private questions. It is obvious that her husband knows the details and that calling her to the medical center makes no sense since they have separated their ways.
What aspect of the writing could use the most attention during revisions (transitions, grammar, structure, word choice, etc.)?
The choice of words and structure of sentences is not appropriate in some places. For example, “if the parents have harmed Etenesh by forcing her to go through the wedding for the arranged marriage, then it was morally wrong for the parents to force Etenesh to go through with the wedding for the arranged marriage (Principle of Nonmaleficence).” This sentence could be written in better, clearer and more understandable words, such as “the parents of Eternesh became a reason for her problems as they forced her to do arrange marriage. It was immoral and they had no right to do so.&rdquo...