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Essay Available:
Pages:
4 pages/β‰ˆ1100 words
Sources:
Check Instructions
Style:
MLA
Subject:
Literature & Language
Type:
Essay
Language:
English (U.S.)
Document:
MS Word
Date:
Total cost:
$ 14.4
Topic:

Impact of Gender Differences in Human History

Essay Instructions:

So this one is the final draft for the order #00107265 you wrote for me. All the files are the same as order #00107265. There are some comments about the draft.


 


Next, proofread your essay, checking for the following:
1. Is it properly formatted in MLA that also includes page numbers inserted in the heading?
2. Is it in the correct file type? Canvas will accept these files: doc. docx. docm. odt, txt, rtf. pdf.
3. After converting Google doc or Mac files, did it impact my formatting? If so. adjust and convert it again.
4. Did I include a works cited page?
5. Are my works cited entries in alphabetical order?
6. Are the second and subsequent lines of each works cited entry indented by one tab space, leaving only the first line of each citation to be at the left margin?
7. Did I include on the works cited page all sources I cited in my essay?
8. Did I remove" Rough Draft" from my title and properly give it a title?
9. Did I review the rubric to ensure I met the requirements, such as meeting the page count and including the required number of sources?


 


Introduction:1. How well did the introduction adequately introduce the topic? Why/why not?
The topic was well described in the introduction. I would just say add some information about your primary text, to adequately introduce your main focus.
2. What is your peer's thesis statement? If you cannot figure out the thesis, what feedback can you give your peer that would help him/her focus the paper?
Your topic sentence was great and was well shown throughout the body paragraphs as well, but there should be some information of how pop culture shapes gender identities.
Body paragraphs:
1. How well did each paragraph support one idea of the essay's thesis? If not. identify which paragraphs need more development and why.
The paragraphs supported the thesis well, by providing a lot of examples and quotes from the authors. The information matched the thesis statement.
2. How well do the ideas flow from one topic to the next, logically guiding the reader from start to finish? If not, point put where it starts to unravel and how to get back on track.
The ideas were not so connected from one topic to the next, there was no connection between articles. The only words used were "complicate" or "contradict", but no actual information on why the articles complicated with each other.


 


The information matched the thesis statement.2. How well do the ideas flow from one topic to the next, logically guiding the reader from start to finish? If not, point put where it starts to unravel and how to get back on track.
The ideas were not so connected from one topic to the next, there was no connection between articles. The only words used were "complicate" or "contradict", but no actual information on why the articles complicated with each other.
3. How well does the student offer a thorough analysis of the evidence used? (This is the "E" in the AXES model). If not. point out which ideas need further elaboration.
The A and X were well put into the essay, there was really no explanations to the prompt answer or the quotes. The summarizing part was also kind of just what the author said or thought, it should be more what you learned from this.
Conclusion:
1. How well does the conclusion discuss the SIGNIFICANCE of the student's argument (for example, does the conclusion discuss why the student's argument is relevant today)? Provide suggestions for improving the conclusion.
It would be great if you combined your first two sentences of the conclusion paragraph because this should be a restate of the thesis statement and a reflection of what you wrote. Also, there should be no examples in the conclusion, just summarizing what you've learned and what you want everyone to get from your essay.
2. Does your peer's paper fall between the page limit? If the paper is too long, make suggestions for condensing. If the paper is too short, make suggestions where the ideas can be expanded._


 


AXES model). If not. point out which ideas need further elaboration.
The A and X were well put into the essay, there was really no explanations to the prompt answer or the quotes. The summarizing part was also kind of just what the author said or thought, it should be more what you learned from this.
Conclusion:
1. How well does the conclusion discuss the SIGNIFICANCE of the student's argument (for example, does the conclusion discuss why the student's argument is relevant today)? Provide suggestions for improving the conclusion.
It would be great if you combined your first two sentences of the conclusion paragraph because this should be a restate of the thesis statement and a reflection of what you wrote. Also, there should be no examples in the conclusion, just summarizing what you've learned and what you want everyone to get from your essay.
2. Does your peer's paper fall between the page limit? If the paper is too long, make suggestions for condensing. If the paper is too short, make suggestions where the ideas can be expanded.
The paper is 3 pages, which is too short. It should fall between 3 1/2 or 4 1/2 pages (not including the citation page)
Overall, great job! I enjoyed reading your essay. (:

Essay Sample Content Preview:
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Identity Making and Masking
The impact of gender differences has been a significant issue in human history. Both the male and female genders expect from an early age to behave in a particular way. If for one reason or another, a person fails to follow these gender norms, they are viewed as outcasts. Aaron Devor’s text on “Gender role behaviors and attitudes” describes how some cultural mythologies define how boys and girls should act or look like. As natural as they may seem, these mythologies are based on cultural constructs and not by nature (Devor 474). Besides, masculine attributes such as self-confidence, aggressive posture, and toughness in appearance are only psychological and biological necessities. Contrary to Devor’s cultural explanation of masculinity and feminism, Deborah Blum in “Gender Blur” explains where biology comes into play in gender studies and finds it necessary to account for nature and nurture in gender differences (Blum 480). Kevin Jennings’ text on “American Dreams” contradicts Devor’s and Blum’s arguments to disclose how he was forced as a child to conceal his differences from others because he was gay (Jennings 493). Culture and biological and psychological necessities failed to play a role in his choice as gay. He struggled with his identity and the American Dream to later accept his sexual orientation. Society, in general, tends to perceive women as being subordinate. This power imbalance has led to gender inequalities becoming deeply ingrained in most societies across the world. While pop culture shapes gender identities through television programming and advertisements, gender or sexual bias should be discouraged because it causes people to mask their true identities.
“Gender role behaviors and attitudes” by Aaron Devor
In the making and masking of identity, Devor’s text suggests that masculine traits such as appearing tough or confident, and feminine traits such as being passive or submissive are not natural or biological. Instead, he argues that these are cultural constructs that society has imposed on both genders. Males and females can behave either way. He goes on to illustrate how masculinity is defined by roles such as aggression and egotistical dominance (Devor 474). The society considers these kinds of behaviors as inappropriate for women to portray. As a result, it has created some fundamental roles for each gender. Devor says that both genders possess similar human characteristics and can be involved in similar activities. However, society limits the capacity of both genders to behave or act in specific ways. Devor gives the example of the patriarchal gender schema present in North American society, which states that evolution or biology is the source of men's innate predisposition to dominate (Devor 475). The schema maintains the cultural superiority of males in society. In the feminine context, Devor says that women are innately predisposed to taking care of children and depending on men for maternal care. As a result, women must behave, dress, act, and talk in a way that denotes weakness or submission. Also, their body lan...
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