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1 page/≈275 words
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Style:
APA
Subject:
Literature & Language
Type:
Essay
Language:
English (U.S.)
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MS Word
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Total cost:
$ 3.6
Topic:

The Process of Revising a Sentence

Essay Instructions:

In this discussion, you will work on writing concise sentences.
Select a sentence from any of your own prior writing that could be made more concise. This could be writing you have submitted or posted in discussions in this class or it could be from another context.
Post the original sentence.
Revise the sentence to make it more concise. Be sure to indicate your revisions in bold type.
Using what you have learned about the functions of commas, demonstrate informed and deliberate choices about comma use in your revised sentence.
Demonstrate the grammar and writing skills covered in previous weeks.

Essay Sample Content Preview:
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Concise writing
Original sentence:
For instance, due to high levels of trust, I have been given leadership positions in the church, family, and school.
Revised sentence
The high level of trust enabled me to take various leadership positions at the church, family, and school.
Discussion
The original sentence can be regarded as being wordy due to the use of words that do not offer new information. Therefore, by eliminating the wordiness, the sentence becomes easy to understand. One of the key aspects focused on the original sentence was to identify the instances in which the ‘high level of trust’ has been of importance. However, it is possible to identify the various instances without including the part ‘for...
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