Email Critique

Email Assignment
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Critique
The manager uses a non-sympathetic tone towards a bereaved person seeking help. He is almost rude in the way he addresses the widow. The manager seems not to care for what the widow is going through, and rather than using a sympathetic and condescending tone; he is harsh to her. He jumps straight to disagree harshly on the widow’s interpretation of the assurance policy and seems to be attacking her for the policy her husband took.
The actuarial manager used too much technical jargon in the email. The client may not understand the message. It is better to keep it simple, clear, and concise.
The manager had some grammatical mistakes: punctuation mistakes and incomplete words. For example, ‘s’ instead of ‘is’ and ‘so the claim,’ instead of; ‘so, the claim. Bad choice of words in some sentences. For example, ‘benefit so the sum payable escalates at.’ That part could be rewritten to ‘benefit so the sum payable increases at.’
The email has too much negative tone characterized by words like ‘you obviously don’t, but at least it is not, you would...