Hamlet Goes to The Shrink

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Hamlet’s Dialogue with His Therapist after Learning of Claudius’ Letter
Therapist
Hamlet my prince, you seem burdened by a heavy load in your heart,
Sit here and let it pour out of your mouth,
And your confessions I shall keep secret under oath.
Hamlet
Dear Sir, it is true I carry a great burden,
For which I seek you my heart to gladden.
Therapist
It’s my duty my prince, that the souls that come to me while sad,
May leave whilst happy and glad.
Let us hear what ails Denmark’s heir,
The prince whose praises are sung by the birds of the air.
Hamlet
My dear doctor, the burden that is eating my soul,
Is the illness that is afflicting us all;
the curse that has befallen our land.
There is murder everywhere, and so much spilling of blood.
Therapist
I too have heard, of the curse that has visited the King’s palace.
But I doubt my lord, that death and blood can shake a prince,
Destined to rule and defend his kingdom by the sword.
Hamlet
You speak so bravely of death,
As one who has never nearly lost his breath,
In the high seas far away to the south,
On his way to the Queen’s land.
Therapist
Well spoken my prince, as befits the wisdom of a kingdom’s prized son.
Losing one’s breath in the high seas, is indeed such a scare to man.
Enlighten me then, on the adventures of your journey to the queen’s land.
Hamlet
Oh discerning one, how ingenious your ways,
of reading the souls of men.
Right away with it then, that my conscience I may unburden.
That fiendish Claudius, his soul will never rest,
Until he has tightened his hold on the king’s throne and estate.
He called me after I have felled the spying Polonius with my sword,
And with the poison of his sweet words seduced me into his plot,
To see me go to England for my own good.
Therapist
I see no ill wi...