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These days, having a friend who has been with you through thick and thin can be hard to find, or even hard to keep. The word “friend” has been overused so much that even an online acquaintance or a one-off connection can immediately earn that label.
What qualities make a good friend? What are the characteristics of good friends? What makes a friendship truly healthy? These are the questions the author of this sample essay will address.
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What Qualities Are Important In A True Friend?
There are friends who remain in our past, and there are also those who are companions for a season. But what each and every one of us longs for is a close-knit group of true friends who will be present with us in all of our ups and downs.
A true friend can change the course of a person’s life. This person will influence him or her to become a much better individual through a healthy relationship. But what are the characteristics of a so-called good friend? What should we be looking for as we connect with different people?
In this essay, I would like to share my list of main qualities that I believe reflect unconditional true lovable friendship.
A loyal friend does not care about people’s financial status
Sadly, there are many people out there masquerading as a nice human being, only for their personal agendas to be exposed in the end. If your so-called friend conveniently disappears when you find yourself in a tough financial crisis, yet suddenly seems to be chummy with you when you prosper, be wary. That person has no loyalty to you and is only after the benefits of being your friend. A good friend does not seek you out for what he or she can get out of you, and will offer unconditional support for you when you’re going through a season of lack.
Great friends listen to your heart, not just simply respond
There is a difference between hearing and listening. When you “hear,” you take the words you literally hear at face value. You also start formulating a response in your head even before the other person is done sharing. A good listener knows to go beyond what he or she is hearing and gets to the heart of the matter. What is my friend really saying? What are the emotions simmering beneath the surface? Does my friend need me to give helpful advice, or simply listen? These are some of the questions a good listener will address internally before giving any sort of response.
A good friendship will celebrate and support the journey of both parties
Two friends don’t necessarily have to be soul mates to enjoy a wonderful friendship. They can be different as night and day, yet have the same level of admiration for each other without much common ground. They believe that their experience of friendship matters more than each others’ personal preferences and that the most important compatible trait that they should share is respect.
They are respectful of each other’s journeys and acknowledge that while they have different interests and pursuits, they can learn to celebrate each others’ progress and cheer each other on through the seasons. They may not truly “get” each others’ passions – and this is valid – but they honor them and see their shared bond as their biggest achievement.
A true friend is trustworthy, which is proven consistently
You can’t be best friends with someone and not be able to trust him or her with your life. They may be good listeners, but if people you call “friends” gossip with others behind your back and breach confidentiality, then they are not worth keeping. A loyal friend understands that trust is a privilege and a responsibility, and they will recognize both when they are openly offered information from a special place of vulnerability. Unless there is an obvious threat to your life, there is nothing that can justify someone passing on the secrets you share with others.
Friendships for keeps make you feel happy not just with words, but actions
As friends, we don’t just rely on the sweet words of affirmation we relay to each other. We also measure the quality of our friendships by our actions. We can talk a good talk all we want, but if we can’t translate these words into actions, especially during the bad times, it would be easy for our friends to question our presence. A healthy friendship is also not just about stirring up positive feelings so that we feel great all the time, but outdoing each other with deeds of honor, especially when someone finds himself or herself in trouble.
A good friend is honest, even when the truth hurts
True friendship always tells the truth, even though it may cause some hurt at the beginning. They know that it is ultimately better to be candid about something that may eventually help the other person in the long run, rather than throw a band-aid on it with cowardly words that will do nothing to better the other. A non-confrontational person will struggle with this, as it poses a risk to the relationship.
But because of his or her understanding that the priority must be the good of his or her friend, he or she will make the effort to overcome the fear of being rejected or dismissed. A more straightforward person, on the other hand, will take the time to sensitively think about the impact of his or her words so that the message is received well.
A best friend will be your safest company for your whole life
We always need people who will be our safe spaces in this world. These friends serve as our safety nets with all the harsh things life may throw at us. It is good to know that there are many friends we can count on to run to who will listen to us, encourage us, and support us through and through. Theirs is a constant presence in our lives. With them, you know you will not feel judged or condemned. Safe spaces like these today are a real pearl to treasure and keep. It takes a whole lot of trust-building and shared experiences to be able to acknowledge someone as a safe person.
Conclusion
In one’s life, he or she will meet people who will seem like true keepers. Only time and shared experiences will tell if they are truly meant to stay on as lifelong friends and confidantes. True friendship is indeed a rare gem in this day and age when people conveniently come and go as they please.
A wise way to make good friends is to be a true friend yourself. Assess your character – even have close companions offer some constructive critique – and find out whether you already possess the essential qualities of a good friend.
At the end of the day, what makes a good friend is not really the talents and gifts of the person, but the commitment of a healthy yet imperfect individual to walk through life with another person, in and out of season. It’s not about the number of secrets you get to keep between you, but the quality of your conversations and how you treat or talk about each other when you’re not together.
Let’s be grateful for the solid friendships we’ve been blessed to have thus far. Whether we’ve known these people our whole life or met them recently yet connected with them on a deeper level, let’s take some time to appreciate them today. We can even take it a step further and do something kind for them this week. As we do, let’s make it a point to tell them why they matter a lot to us.