Disappearance of People and Things in Do You Love Me?

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Disappearance of People and Things in Do You Love Me?
Relationships can be hard, especially when couples get beyond the first two months, where intimacy levels are very high. However, the ability to navigate through the period that follows tests one’s ability to love and be loved. In Peter Carey’s Do You Love Me, the narrator appears troubled by the feeling that he is not loved. This creates a sense of insecurity regarding his girlfriend’s love for him, which even prompts him to think that he could disappear like other things in his world, which are not loved. Margaret Paul suggests several ideas that can help couples connect so as not to feel lonely. Therefore, this essay aims to discuss how the disappearing of things in Carey’s story is related to a lack of love and how Paul’s suggestions can remedy this.
Carey’s story is that of a young man who lives in a dystopian future where cartographers are the elite (Carey 35). They map out the world, and, therefore, determine what is needed and what is not. The young man, the narrator, has an overbearing father who is also a cartographer and a teacher. He believes himself better than everyone else and appears to love his son’s girlfriend more than he loves his son (Carey 37). The narrator’s mother is not prominent in the text, but the girlfriend is about earnest. The narrator’s struggle is with his doubt about his girlfriend’s love for him. And as things start to disappear, he begins to despair.
It is easy to see people or things disappearing when one is not feeling loved. For instance, when you feel that your friends do not understand or appreciate you, you might choose to ignore and avoid them. This might hurt their feelings, but, in the end, they may decide to leave you alone. This is a perfect scenario in which one would start to see people disappearing. You used to have this group of friends around you, but you lose them because you question your relationship. It can be a lonely situation if you choose to go down this path. You might think that it will help you, but eventually, you will realize that it only leads to loneliness. This is why Paul suggests that to avoid being lonely in a relationship, you need to share your innermost feelings and be willing to show vulnerability. It does not show weakness. Instead, it helps you connect with your partner or friends.
In Carey’s story, he uses the disappearance of buildings, objects, and even land to symbolize the loneliness that comes with the feeling of not being loved. When you feel that you are not loved, everything and everyone you knew seems to disappear. It is not that they are no longer available for you. It is your decision to isolate yourself that makes it seem like others are disappearing. In most cases, when people feel lonely, they tend to linger in that situation, hoping that someone will pity them and help them. However, this never happens because when one chooses to isolate himself or herself, he also a...