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Big Brother (Essay Sample)

I want you to revise this essay. The topic is about "Big Brother"(The Government). I want you to convince the reader that the government knows everything and secure us from crimes, accidents and agendas etc through security cameras, road cameras and by monitoring the cell phones.. It is an ESL essay the professor said that it is missing conclusion, thesis and it is not will written.. Please revise and add some point.. I'll attach a copy of the essay! Thanks source..
Name Lecturer Course Date Big Brother The big brother has been monitoring every activity that people do in their private rooms, especially if they do it over the telephone or internet. With the right to access every kind of telephony information they want, the NSA (National Security Agency) gets a court order to retrieve data from Verizon and other service providers whenever it wants such information. The NSA is probably accessing data from Google, Facebook, and Microsoft as well, which is why people have started wondering whether this is a good idea or not. Despite what the critics say, the Big Brother is only doing his job to protect the citizens from terrorists and other possible insecurities that may emerge as a result of increased Communication Technology. Firstly, the NSA has confirmed that they only use the information they retrieved for the purpose of national security and cannot be accessed by third parties. They only study this information to find out if there is any suspicious pattern of communication, which may be a sign that unscrupulous people are using the lines. The NSA can use such patterns to track down potential terrorists and eliminate potential danger from innocent Americans. Secondly, motor vehicle companies have installed GPS tracking systems in cars, which the NSA can use together with webcams and phone records to trace citizens throughout the country. This helps the NSA and other government agencies to min...
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