College Application Essay: Common App Framework

Michael Huang – Common App Framework
What the Common App essay should do is give the school an idea of your personality, as well as some understanding of your academic interests. However, we want to focus more on your human, emotional development than your academic accomplishments. 
I would suggest the following Common App prompt for you. We get 650 words:
• Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. 
The general idea:
Let’s talk about your interest in collecting Chinese traditional trinkets. Even though you live in such a bright, glitzy fast-paced world (for example, with a family business surrounding sports cars), your personal retreat and moments of zen are centered around researching and meditating about these ancient Chinese artifacts. I think this shows a great side of you - even though you are business savvy and making moves in the world, you still look back upon and cherish your heritage and the traditions of Chinese history.
The storyline summary:
We’ll start off with a scene from a hectic day with you working in your family’s sports car business. Then, we will move on to you retreating into a peaceful place where you take out your Chinese artifacts and ponder about them.
The structure:
1. Opening paragraph
As mentioned above, start off with a scene from a busy day of you working at your father’s company. Keep the mood of the opening paragraph very fast, very glittery, etc. You can talk about the expensive sports cars being detailed and inspected, and then the quick business talk being thrown around. You want to show the reader how hectic and fast-paced life in this world is.
2. Body paragraph(s)
Then, transition into your body paragraphs. You can start off by setting the scene: at the end of the day, you leave the fast-paced, modern world that you talked about above and go into your room. You pull out a box and open it… Inside, a collection of wooden bracelets and fans that, to the average viewer, looks a little bit like old, useless memories that should be thrown out. However, for you, these represent peace and a loyal respect for the traditions and history of your country. You said in our interview, “These trinkets might seem trivial to others, but they contain a lot of stories and history.” This is good! Build upon this idea. What do these trinkets mean to you? What do you discover about your heritage, as well as about yourself, by collecting them and researching them? Why are they so important, when so many people around you regard them as useless?
In another body paragraph, I’d like you to talk about collecting and researching these, as well as the connections to people that you’ve made by doing so. You told me in our interview, “I wish to speak with my friends about them, but they’re not typically interested in these. So, most of the people that I talk about this with are over 40, and they also admire and appreciate the value and history of these trinkets.” Many people your age are probably much more attracted to the glamour and excitement of sports cars. You are part of that world, yes, but this is your private, peaceful world. What are some of the conversations you’ve had with and lessons you’ve learned from the people that you speak to about these bracelets? Since they are much older, I have a feeling that they have been able to teach you some very special lessons. Talk about the wisdom that you’ve gained from speaking to these people who are like you in the future.
3. Closing paragraph
Finally, we reach the conclusion. Summarize what you have learned, and why these trinkets are so important and special. You can tie back to the beginning paragraph by saying that, even though you live in a world that is so fast-paced and modern, you can take a step back and appreciate the beauty of understanding and respecting your ancient heritage.
Important passages from your pre-writing:
I'm really interested in Chinese traditional trinkets - like wooden bracelets and fans. I love reading about the history and the techniques to making them. I collect them and love researching about them. These trinkets might seem trivial to others, but they contain a lot of stories and history. I’ve collected quite a lot of bracelets, some from 1000 to 800 years ago. I wish to speak with my friends about them, but they’re not typically interested in these. So, most of the people that I talk about this with are over 40, and they also admire and appreciate the value and history of these trinkets.