The Giving Tree By Shel Silverstein Writing Assignment Paper

The Giving Tree
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Codependency is a behavioral and emotional condition that impairs a person’s ability to create mutual, healthy satisfying relationships. The relationships they make with people are often one-sided and thus emotionally abusive and destructive. Codependency is behavior that is learnt and passed down from one generation to another. People learn the behavior by imitating those around them who have the same behavior. Codependency affects those people who exhibit this condition; it can be a spouse, a friend, a sibling, co-worker or a parent, especially in dysfunctional families (Lancer, 2016).
A major characteristic exhibited by co-dependent person is low self-esteem. Due to this, a co-dependent would look for a factor originating from the outside to make them feel better. They often turn to alcoholism, gambling, and workaholism among others. The intentions of these people should never be mistaken. Their intentions are good. They want to take care of the other party but it often turns out to be defeating and compulsive (Lancer, 2016). The symptoms of codependency include low-self esteem, people pleasing, poor boundaries, reactivity, control, caretaking, dysfunctional communications, obsessions, painful emotions, intimacy problems, denial, and dependency.
Low self-esteem is usually associated with trying to compare one's self with others, the feeling of not being worthy or good enough, perfectionism, shame, guilt and feeling inadequate and unlovable. Saying ‘no' to co-dependents is the biggest problem (Lancer, 2016). They often go miles of accommodating everyone by sacrificing their needs in the sense of pleasing them. The poor boundaries in regard to feelings often get codependents in trouble. They often feel guilty and responsible for other people’s feelings. They at times blame their own feeling on other people. To some codependents, they form rigid boundaries, making difficult for people to access them. Reactivity comes as a result of poor boundaries such that codependents find themselves reacting to the feelings and thoughts of everyone. Caretaking is also as a result of poor boundaries whereby someone wants to take care of the other to a point that they give up on themselves.
Control is a way that codependents use to feel safe and okay. They take control of their feelings and thoughts and are rigidly sharing them. They often find something that makes them feel better such as alcoholism or suppress their feelings such as workaholism (Lancer, 2016). Most of the times they extend this control to their loved ones such that they want them to behave in a certain way for them to feel safe. Codependents are usually obsessed with fear and anxiety a...