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The Dangers of Too Much Reliance on Technology and the Reflection in Television (Essay Sample)


Hi, I wrote about 2-3 pages of the paper and I'm wondering if you can help me finish it.
Here are some suggestions from my instructor about my paper draft:
First, you need to make your argument more specific. You are basically stating a fact, not really providing a critical argument in your thesis statement. Please see my comment on the paper for suggestions on your introduction and thesis.
Second, the information about Nosedive could be greatly expanded - you do a lot of summary but not a lot of analysis about the actual harms of technology. You can go into a lot more detail about some of the ideas there.
Third, it seems like you are taking on far too much in your paper - after you are finished talking about Nosedive, your draft becomes unclear and does not really serve to support your main idea. There is so much that you could unpack in Black Mirror that I know it can be hard to narrow it down, but you need to focus your ideas and provide more analysis instead of summarizing random (unnamed) episodes. Definitely keep the information about Nosedive, but perhaps eliminate the other episodes and just focus your analysis on the one episode. With a well explained and thorough analysis, I'm sure you will be able to have enough content to meet the page requirements for the paper just by analyzing the single episode.
Fourth, make sure that you are using correct in-text citations and a proper references page in your final paper, and don't forget to include at least one scholarly source outside of class materials in your research. Please let me know if you have any questions.


The Dangers of Too Much Reliance on Technology and the Reflection in Television
The Dangers of Too Much Reliance on Technology and the Reflection in Television
Technology has slowly taken over our lives over the last two decades. People work, play and even raise their children as per the new ways made available by technology. People’s tech-dependent lifestyles have caused inevitable changes in both professional and private sides, such as the use of emails, online chatting, messaging, and online collaborations. While all the above seem to positively impact life, there is another side of technology which seems to be gradually eroding the people’s minds, privacy, and thoughts. Different aspects of life today seem to be heavily impacted by technology, and it is essential to admit that technology is a double-edged sword. However, people are still not convinced of the evils or dangers of technology, but through television programs, some directors are trying to communicate with their audiences. For example, a television program like Black Mirror is one that goes to deeper lengths to expose some of the dangers of technology. This program helps to reveal some of the evils and dangers of technology which should not be ignored in the society today. 

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