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2 peer reviews for 2 separate essay drafts (Essay Sample)

ESSAY OUTLINES TO WRITE PEER REVIEWS ARE ATTACHED SEPARATELY. Select two classmates' drafts to respond to. Remember to spread the wealth. Do not review a classmate's draft if that classmate already has received two peer reviews. This will guarantee that everyone gets helpful advice. Use the advice given in Chapter 16 of The KU Guide to Successful Writing to write your peer review. Keep in mind also that your goal is to offer suggestions for improvement, not to simply identify weaknesses. Do not comment on grammar or punctuation at all. Focus on thesis, development, organization, and ideas. Remember to explain your response. If a paragraph grabbed your attention, refer to how the writer did this, so the writer will know to keep that strategy. If an area of the essay draft is confusing, for example, explain why you think it is confusing and offer suggestions for how the writer might clarify his or her ideas. If source information does not seem particularly relevant to the writer's point, explain why you think so and offer suggestions for the type of research information that would be more relevant. Your responses to classmates should go beyond simply praising and should be well developed. Be sure that your response refers to the unit reading and video assignment and that it is well-edited and developed. When you respond to at least two classmates, be sure to go beyond simple agreement or praise and instead offer constructive advice. Make suggestions about the topic, the audience, and the ideas for addressing this problem. Add to what your classmates have already written. Ask questions. Engage in debate. Remember that responses that merely congratulate and praise do not earn credit. Aim for at least 150 words each for your responses to classmates. Sample essay draft and response from instructor: CM107 UNIT 7 Discussion Board SAMPLE RESPONSE: CUT AND PASTE OF DRAFT : ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Teachers have it rough. Their classes are crowded and they often times have to work with students that some people might see as being unruly, even unteachable. Many of these students actually have ADHD, a disability that prevents students with this problem from achieving success in school. New teachers have to understand what ADHD is and how they can successfully teach students with this learning disability. Without knowing the strategies and tools needed to help students with ADHD, teachers run the risk of failing to give these students what they need in order to succeed. ADHD, Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, is a disorder that affects many students. They are the ones we see in the class who can't seem to sit still, who lose focus easily and who often have trouble with math. ADHD affects a student's ability to follow rules and expectations and sometimes even affects the student and his ability to interact with classmates and teachers even. The ADHD student will also have difficulties with math, writing and reading, not because the ADHD student is incapable of learning these subjects but because, according to Dr. Martin Kutcher, for the student with ADHD, part of their brain “doesn't do a good job of putting on the brakes” and that can create many problems. These students may: Have trouble putting brakes on distractions. Their minds are pulled off the main topic by competing action. This leads to the Attention Deficit of ADHD. Have trouble sitting still rather than checking out those distractions. This leads to the Hyperactivity of ADHD. Have trouble putting brakes on any thought that comes into their minds. There is trouble putting brakes on frustrations and over-reactions. This leads to Impulsivity (2008). Despite these serious effects, ADHA is treatable and does not have to prevent a student from achieving academic excellence. Often times, doctors will prescribe Ritalin or another drug like Vyvanse to help to control the symptoms of ADHD, but therapy is sometimes necessary to help the students to deal with stress and anger management but this treatment alone will not solve all the problems that the ADHD student encounters. Parents, for example, may have to change their parenting techniques, avoiding yelling and other parenting styles that do not work with ADHD children. Because ADHD children may have trouble with staying focused, they often don't complete tasks and will act out or do things that demonstrate a lack of self-control. This often leads to frustration within a family and requires great patience. These students still need the help of knowledgeable teachers who will adjust their teaching methods to meet the needs of these students. Because ADHD students respond more to one-on-one situations than they do large group classroom settings, ideally, the teacher should create opportunities to work individually with the student. This isn't always practical, of course, so experts recommend supplementing traditional classroom instruction with peertutoring and parental involvement. This strategy, paired with parent-tutoring, can build student memory and increase student performance. Teachers should also try what is known as Assignment Modification. If a homework assignment asks students to complete 15 math problems, a teacher might consider reducing the number of math problems to10, adjusting the assignment to the specific needs of the ADHD student, since the ADHD student's attention deficit may prevent him or her from being able to source..
Peer Reviews
Course Code
Date of Submission
Shannon Rutherford
The structure of the student is exemplary. Breaking down the outline gives the reader a clear picture of what to expect and the order with which to expect. Stating the thesis is very crucial as the student. It gives the reader an understanding of the main idea that is advanced in the discussion. In terms of the development however, the student may require improvement. The development of the essay is not one of the best. The student’s draft lacks the depth in explanation of the ideas the student wants to put across. When a shallow explanation is provided, it leads to loss of key points that the writer would have wished the reader to capture. It is therefore important that all the points be explained in details so as to pass the point across.
It is also important the writer maintain the same kind of organization as in the outline. Once the essay begins, writing in prose is more likely to lose the reader. It is important for the student to subtitle the various subsections of the work, as it will be easy for the reader to transit from one idea to the other.
When quotations are used within the essay, it is important that the sources be provided. Failure to do so amounts to academic malpractice known as plagiarism. The student has not indicated the source ...
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