Original Passage: Abraham Lincoln, John Brown, And The Civil War Era

PARAPHRASE ANALYSIS Each paraphrase you write must credit the source. Include the author’s name and the page number (if there is one) where the passage was found. If you include the author’s name in a signal phrase, then you only need the page number in the parenthetical citation. If you do not include the author’s name in the paraphrase, you must include the author’s last name and the page number in a parenthetical citation. If the source does not include an author’s name, use the title of the article or a shortened version of the title.
The original passage beneath the Work Cited entry below is about America’s sixteenth president, Abraham Lincoln. It is followed by two paraphrases--one incorrect and one correct.
Jones, Stephen B. Our Fiery Trial: Abraham Lincoln, John Brown, and the Civil War Era. Massachusetts UP,
1999, p. 65.
ORIGINAL PASSAGE
Nobody called him Abe--at least not to his face--because he loathed the nickname. It did not befit a respected professional who'd struggled hard to overcome the limitations of his frontier background. Frankly, Lincoln enjoyed his status as a lawyer and politician, and he liked money, too, and used it to measure his worth. By the 1850's, thanks to a combination of talent and sheer hard work, Lincoln was a man of substantial wealth. He had an annual income of around $5,000--the equivalent of many times that today--and large financial and real-estate investments.
INCORRECT PARAPHRASE No one used Lincoln's nickname, Abe, because he detested it. It didn't go with a lawyer and politician who had worked to get away from the restrictions of his country heritage. Lincoln liked his new position, and his wealth, and used it to gauge his status. By mid-century, his skill and labor had made him a fairly wealthy man. He had a yearly income of approximately $5,000 - equal to several times that now - and hefty business and land commitments.
WHAT THREE REASONS MAKE IT INCORRECT?
1) There is no parenthetical citation.
2) There is no citation crediting the source of the idea
3) The paraphrase has copied the sentence structure of the original text. Essentially, it has a few different words from the original text though it does not flow well.
CORRECT PARAPHRASE By the middle of the century, Lincoln enjoyed life as a well-respected lawyer and politician, having acquired a position of status and wealth that ...