Inspiration for Being a Doctor

Hello. Greetings. I want help in writing a personal statement for the internal medicine residency program application. It would be greatly appreciated if you could intertwine my hobby of hiking with my career in medicine. Please contact me if you need more details. Thanks.
Here is my rough draft so far.
At the age of 10, I experienced a family health event that inspired and triggered my life-seeking goals and dedication within the medical field. My sibling underwent an emergent appendectomy which saved his life. When I saw my brother in excruciating pain, I felt a sense of hopelessness and the imminent fear of losing him. After his successful surgery , I was grateful to see his recovery and the impact of what medical care did for him. I was fascinated to see how healthcare professionals provided care, hope, and saved lives. At that point, my resolve were that I wanted to be one of them. As I grew older, I held onto this experience and as I observed our family doctor on regular check-up visits, his compassion, and concern for the patient’s pains and fears. He inspired me with his dedication and kind-heartedness and made me aspire to be a compassionate physician like him.
For the next four years of high school, I enthusiastically selected the rigorous and disciplinary path of sports. It was a path, , of enduring hard work, of multiple challenges, and resolve towards excellent performance and to be your best. These standards shaped me into becoming an accomplished and successful athlete. In a couple of years, I brought back home five medals while competing nationally in Track and Field. I continued to be a star student-athlete throughout my medical school and won several inter-collegiate championships. Being in sports taught me the power of persistence, instilled a never-give-up attitude, made me committed and passionate in whatever I set out to do, and to encounter challenges with confidence and compassion.
A part of my experience during medical studies and training was working at times, with limited resources, in India’s rural areas. Although medical care to a needy and sick population was challenging, my efforts were steadfastly focused on delivering care effectively and gently. During this time, I strengthened my clinical skills in examining patients and taking accurate and detailed notes for initial, follow-up, and procedures. My training taught me how consequential it is to take time to educate and communicate with the patient on their ailments and prognosis. These skills came in handy when I encountered a challenging patient, a distressed mother refusing to look at or even hold or feed her newborn baby with a cleft lip and cleft pallet disorder. I counselled her by showing the before and after pictures on how surgery could correct the condition which cleared her misconceptions and convinced her to accept and nurse her baby.
While in medical school, I was proactive in multiple campus activities which broadened strengthened my interpersonal, teamwork, and leadership skills. I became the Co-President of the Student Body Council, and in this position, I organized activities such as post-graduate seminars, cultural programs, and annual sports events. I oversaw the National Health Programs established by WHO such as Pulse Polio, Maternal & Child Health, and Universal Immunization. In this process, I learned the significance of patient care when directed towards the community, not just the individual.
After my intern year, I accompanied my husband to the USA in support of his professional career. ] Being on a non-work H4 visa and with no family support, I immersed myself in raising two kids under the age of 2, of which I am immensely proud of and was a priority for my family. While taking full-time care of my family, I prepared for the USMLE exams. I kept my clinical skills active by practicing medicine on my most visits to India, where I had license to practice.
While pursuing my goal of entering a residency program, I worked as a Research Assistant under the supervision of Dr. Smith, School of Medicine / in Florida. The time I spent within the division of Cardiothoracic Surgery sparked a particular interest in cardiac and general interventional procedures. I saw novel and evolving research initiatives in this field. I was particularly amazed by techniques such as minimally invasive and laparoscopic surgical procedures and their positive outcomes. This experience spotlighted my early interest in surgery. While carrying out my responsibilities as a Research Assistant, I developed an inquisitive and analytic frame of mind. Also important were time management and organizational skills while collaborating on multiple initiatives.
Looking back, I am humbled by all the events I have experienced during my career as a physician both abroad and in the United States and urban as well as rural settings. As a hardworking person and a goal achiever, I am ready and committed to working arduously when given the opportunity to commence a training program. While I follow my passion to learn the complexities in the ever-evolving advances in healthcare, I am also as committed to serving patients and the community alike to the best of my abilities and with unwavering and compassionate care.